I’ve often brought cheese into work for lunch to eat with a bagel, usually a few harmless chunks of Cheddar or perhaps some mild goat’s, which I’ll microwave into a soft gooey sandwich. Most of the time, this method works a treat.
As I alluded to in my previous post however, it's really important to pick your cheese wisely; I seem to have become immune to the stronger-smelling varieties and forget that, to other people, they absolutely reek. Here’s what happened on my second day in a new job.
I brought the lovely St. Nectaire into work mistakenly thinking it would be suitable for lunchtime zapping. After a customary 60 seconds, I noticed that there was indeed a powerful odour. The bagel had also transformed into a plasticy, barely-edible lump. Yuck. I was rather vexed by this unappetising result.
I sat with some people I’d just met and immediately the person to my right looked around and exclaimed, “Oh my god, what is that TERRIBLE SMELL?” Soon, everyone who sat down with me rapidly noticed the offensive pong; the unfolding situation reminded me of the sex panther scene in Anchorman (one of my all-time favourite films).
I forgot about this small faux pas until returning to my desk to hear someone just a few feet away in the middle of an indignant rant about how her soup was ruined by a girl and her microwaved bagel. She was quite literally cheesed off! Apparently a member of staff had been rooting through the bins to find the cause of the stench.
I later learned that the entire canteen reeked of my hapless St. Nectaire; someone said they thought it was dog food, while another claimed he suffered seasonal affective smell disorder the next day. Honestly, some people have no nose for a fine cheese.
If I’ve learnt anything from this stink-melt-melodrama, it’s that you shouldn’t ruin a distinguished cheese in the microwave at work. Stick to the milder specimens. On the plus side, I certainly made an impression. Not necessarily a pleasant one, but at least I’ll be remembered!
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